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Sherlock put down his blowtorch as he heard John clomping up the stairs. The door creaked open and John called into the kitchen, “Harry gave us a gift.”
“Put it on the table, I am testing the affects of burning various objects,” Sherlock muttered as his friend entered the room.

“Sherlock,” John said quietly.
“What?” he sighed not turning around.
“Harry got us a cat.”

“A cat? What are we going to do with a cat?” Sherlock frowned brushing some ash from the counter onto the floor.
“You know, feed it, um, why do I have to explain this to you?” John said before realizing Sherlock might never understand the concept. He resisted the urge to compare Sherlock’s existence to that of a cat. Barely.

“Its your cat.” Sherlock stated as a small mushroom cloud  was emitted from a beaker.
“Fine,” John replied placing the crate on the floor and opening it, “but I am going out tonight. You two just try to be friends.”

Sherlock glanced up from his test tubes as the cat walked out of the crate. Short grey fur, lanky, green eyes, small tattoo in left ear, arrogant. A purebred. Brilliant.



The cat wandered off around the flat and Sherlock continued his experiment. The house was silent except for the occasional combustion, and the cat was almost forgotten. Sherlock switched off his blowtorch and stood to get his skull for company.  As he reached the mantle there was a crash from the kitchen. He returned to see the cat running away from a smashed beaker. Glowering Sherlock cleaned up the spill and reconstructed the experiment.

Deciding it was time to visit his mind palace Sherlock grabbed his phone and collapsed on the couch. He placed his phone on the arm rest and closed his eyes. A second latter he jumped as a paw batted him through the cushions.

Sherlock glared at his furry pest for a minute before lying down again. The cat jumped on his chest. He pushed it off. The cat jumped on his face. Exasperated Sherlock tried to grab it but the cat danced out of his reach. Giving up he shut his eyes. A thud told him the cat had knocked the phone off the couch.

“John!” Sherlock shouted before remembering he had left hours ago. Groaning he leaned over and snatched up his phone. He dialed Lestrade and waited impatiently until the DI picked up. “Lestrade, I need to get rid of a cat.”
“Not my division,” click.
Damn him.

Sherlock texted John,
 
    No matter how inconvenient, get back here.
    Now.
                                                                   SH

A few minutes latter when he received, “I will be home in five,” Sherlock dragged himself off the couch. Yawning he walked back into the kitchen and realized a heart he had left to soak in salt water was missing. He spun around to see the cat eat the last bite of the organ.

Sherlock walked deliberately towards the animal is it began to clean its paws. He grabbed the cat and it yowled in protest as he carried it to the sink. Sherlock turned on the cold water and held the cat under the stream as it clawed up his arm. It managed to escape as John entered the flat and ran crying to him.

“Sherlock, what the hell happened to the cat?” John asked with concern as the animal dripped on the floor.
“John that cat ate my experiment!”
“You should not have left it out. Cats do not know any better.” John said walking to the bathroom to get towels.

The cat pranced over to the table of case files and stood dripping on a open folder, daring Sherlock to retaliate.

When John reentered the room Sherlock doubled over wheezing. He looked up at John with watering eyes and gasped, “I...I think I am allergic to the cat.”
“That was sudden.” John frowned forgetting the dripping feline.
“It scratched my arm,” Sherlock coughed holding up his bleeding limb, “John, I think I am dying.”
“Your not going to die,” John said looking worried, “but you should wash those scratches.”

The cat meowed and ran to John again. Sherlock sneezed and John grabbed the cat, his jumper absorbing a good amount of water in the process.
“What are we going to do with it?” John asked as it squirmed.
“You need to return it,” Sherlock wheezed, “or give it to Anderson.”

“Right,” John said as he forced the writhing animal back into the crate, “get some MHRA approved allergy meds if you do not feel better soon. And open some windows.”

John turned to leave and Sherlock smiled at the eyes glinting evilly out of the crate. When he was sure John had left the flat he cleared his throat and started breathing normally.
“That was tedious,” he said to himself wiping his eyes. After spreading out the papers to dry he he rang the morgue for another heart.



As Sherlock was rinsing out a beaker there was a scratching noise and a mouse appeared on the other side of the room. Drying his hands he reached for John’s gun.
Who needs a cat anyway?
I am going to hide under a rock now :ashamed:
All due credit to BBC Sherlock
:iconbenedictcumberbatch::iconjohnhahanoplz::iconabitnotgoodplz::icongaaayplz: :iconnotgaaayplz:
 Sherlock - AngrySherlock - Moriarty Shocked Sherlock - Mrs HudsonSherlock Emote - Confused Sherlock - SmileSherlock - HugSherlock Emote - AngrySherlock - Smile
                                     

 
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthetiedyecloak:
theTieDyeCloak Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015
Ohmygosh, I love how he's just burning things as it opens.  And the gun for the mouse is just great :D
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks ^.^
Reply
:iconholster262:
holster262 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Student
Epic :D
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks ^.^
Reply
:iconholster262:
holster262 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Student
You Are Welcome 
Reply
:iconunicornsinthedryer:
UnicornsInTheDryer Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Student Writer
That was brilliant!
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :glomp:
Reply
:iconsarianaj:
SarianaJ Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's rather odd really, you would think that because Shwelock is so much like a cat, he would like cats himself....
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Too much competition for resources(aka John's attention)
Reply
:iconseagoingstorm:
SeagoingStorm Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
When Sherlock describe the cat the only thing I could think is he's describing himself XD

I'd trade my cat for Sherlock. Am I a bad person? Don't care.

This story is cute, and very in character.
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :)

Sherlock does seem to be describing himself, thats why I choose a cat

I would trade my cat for Sherlock too if I could. You are not a bad person
Reply
:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That is a killer first line ^^ And the cat eating the heart made me laugh :giggle: Sherlock - not a natural cat owner...
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :tighthug:
Reply
:iconnobodiesdragongirl:
NobodiesDragonGirl Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
I do believe the only cat that John needs is Sherlock. (long live Benedict Caterbatch)
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree ^.^
The only cat anyone needs is Sherlock.
I need a Sherlock!
Reply
:iconnobodiesdragongirl:
NobodiesDragonGirl Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
WE ALL NEED A SHERLOCK!
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yush, I must purchase one at one :D
Reply
:iconkassey2000:
kassey2000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student Writer
Really like this story!
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :tighthug:
Reply
:iconkassey2000:
kassey2000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student Writer
I actually made my own [link] I hop you like it!
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It was cute
Reply
:iconkassey2000:
kassey2000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student Writer
:squee:
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconkassey2000:
kassey2000 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student Writer
:)
Reply
:iconalrtist:
ALRtist Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Its was quite lovely, short and sweet, simple, yet in-depth and accurate.
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :dummy:
Reply
:iconeventhorizon6:
Eventhorizon6 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Student Writer
This is brilliant! :D
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :worship:
Reply
:icontheavengercoat:
Theavengercoat Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Adorable!!! Sherlock doesn't like this cat :3
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It appears so, I love your username :)
Reply
:icontheavengercoat:
Theavengercoat Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
oh, thanks friend! :glomp:
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you are welcome :hug:
Reply
:icontheavengercoat:
Theavengercoat Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
thanks :hug:
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:glomp:
Reply
:icontheavengercoat:
Theavengercoat Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
:hug:
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbek1995:
BEK1995 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Suddenly needs pictures of Benny with cats...
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
And this[link]
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A shopped one with a kitten:[link]
Three with a plush lamb: :[link] [link] [link]
God damn it why is he so cute?
Reply
:iconbek1995:
BEK1995 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
WHY IS HE PERFECT???
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It is a plot to enslave us
and it is working :worship::iconsherlockwinkplz:
Reply
:iconbek1995:
BEK1995 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I believe the phrase "the agony and the ectasy" would be appropriate here. And I hope I spelled that right. :)
Reply
:icondragonhaven42:
DragonHaven42 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You did ^.^
We take so much abuse
Reply
:iconbek1995:
BEK1995 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconalrtist:
ALRtist Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Student General Artist
I second that notion!
Reply
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